-
Iboga Blog
AA
31st December 2020 • Sticky Post
Personal Inventory: Taking Stock for the New Year
If you have any experience with recovery, you’re probably already familiar with the concept of a personal inventory. The Big Book used by Alcoholics Anonymous describes Step 4 as “a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” But even if you aren’t in a 12 Step Program, tackling a personal inventory should still be a component of your recovery program.
Everyone makes mistakes in life, and everyone is wronged by others. For most addicts, the severity and number of these transgressions are compounded by a lifestyle that’s almost certain to lead to trauma, stress, and dishonesty. A personal inventory is a great tool for examining the effects of the harm done and moving beyond it into a happy, healthy, and sober life.
Facing The Facts
The life of an addict can be a blur, and many people in recovery are just beginning to confront the reality of their own actions and behaviors. It is common to dwell on negative emotions, past trauma, and family dynamics to justify addiction and to minimize our own roles in poisoning relationships and creating problems in our lives and the lives of those around us. One of the most essential benefits those in recovery receive from a personal inventory is the ability to examine and evaluate their own actions without shifting blame, justifying past misdeeds, and becoming bogged down in negative emotions. Addicts and alcoholics necessarily spend years lying to themselves and those around them about the nature, depth, and symptoms of their condition. As you begin to scrupulously examine the facts of your life, you’ll find that the reality of your life and relationships are significantly different from the stories you’ve been telling yourself and those around you. This is a key reason why personal inventories are so essential to recovery.
Fears, Resentment, and Forgiveness
The Big Book suggests that when embarking on the fact-finding stage of the enterprise, you create four columns to list all relevant information on your resentments, fears, sexual conduct, and harm caused to other people. When reflecting on resentments, we should focus on ways to move past anger and forgive those who have caused hurt. By embracing forgiveness and giving others the benefit of the doubt, you can let go of negative emotions that push you towards destructive actions. The 12 Step model lists resentment as the most serious character flaw for alcoholics and addicts, and learning to view the actions of those around you with understanding and compassion is one of the secrets to living a happy life.
At Iboga Tree Healing House, we have found that Naikan Therapy is a powerful tool for moving past resentment and cultivating a sense of gratitude in life. Naikan therapy focuses on reflecting upon your relationships: what you’re offering to and taking from the people around you every day. It has helped our clients move beyond resentment and into a positive outlook on their relationships with loved ones. We’d recommend this treatment as a complement to your personal inventory.
As you progress into examining the harm that you have caused others, it’s important to get specific. You want to address the exact nature of your own wrongs, and the motivation which caused you to hurt those around you. When you’re tackling this part of the process, it’s important to be very careful not to justify or minimize any of your own actions. You should be reflecting on all of your relationships at this stage in the process, in order to create a full accounting of the damage your addiction has caused, and prepare you to begin healing and repairing that damage.
Fears are important because they can often lead us to damaging behavior. They also lead to secrecy, dishonesty, and feelings of inadequacy. Addressing them head-on is a necessary step towards dealing with your own character flaws and changing yourself for the better. While it’s unlikely that you’ll completely conquer every fear you have, learning to respond positively to the feeling of fear will be a great help on your recovery journey.
Let's get emotional
The process of undergoing a personal inventory will also lead you to explore your own emotional development and the ways in which addiction has stunted it. As you undergo the process and unearth painful memories, you’ll get to know which emotions you’re comfortable with experiencing, and which ones you tend to avoid feeling or expressing. Avoiding unpleasant emotions is one of the primary reasons why people turn to substances, and developing a level of comfort and familiarity with your feelings will help you to maintain sobriety.
One tip that many people familiar with personal inventory tend to offer is to begin by creating a list of people, businesses, ideas, principles, situations, and institutions that have played a meaningful role in your life. As you work through the list, think about your memories, and the thoughts and feelings you associate with each. As you examine your own reactions and the emotions which are triggered, you will quickly realize (based on the intensity of your reactions) what you’ll need to focus on as you create an inventory.
What you'll get out of your personal inventory
A well-run business regularly checks its inventory to see what it has. Is a supermarket dangerously low on milk? Does the pharmacy have medications that are about to expire? You’re looking to reach a similar goal within your own brain. What do you have inside yourself that is holding you back and causing you pain? What are your untapped resources and sources of strength? Are you carrying far too many negative emotions and memories into every situation you find yourself in? Do you have an urgent need for emotional support or self-esteem? What can you draw motivation and will-power from when you’re feeling low?
A personal inventory is an integral part of the recovery process because it leads you to discover the truth about yourself and your life. It can help you finally get rid of the false narratives, negative emotions, and counter-productive decision-making processes that trapped you in addiction. It will let you know what relationships need to be repaired and guide you into making amends with those you’ve hurt. It will help you grow. It will help you learn.
It's just worth doing.
25th March 2020 • Sticky Post
Recovery and Spirituality: Understanding the links
“Spirituality” is a difficult concept to pin down, and one that many people have a strong response to. Some might instantly conjure up images of the Bible, the Star of David, or another organized religion. Others might immediately think of new-age touchstones like healing crystals or meditation. And most people have strong, instinctive positive and negative responses to religious concepts and images. But spirituality isn’t some vague riddle or standard set of rules and morals. Spirituality is something that is woven into the fabric of your everyday life, and learning to access it, explore it, and draw strength from it can be an invaluable resource as you go through the process of recovery
Understanding "Spirituality"
Many people are put off by the religious overtones of the concept of spirituality, but at Iboga Tree Healing House we feel that spirituality is the search for meaning, purpose, and a sense of connection to the world around you. For many people, it involves a search for connections with something greater than oneself, such as God, the universe, humanity, or nature. But it doesn’t have to be anything more specific than exploring the meaning of your experiences. There isn’t a right or wrong way to be spiritual, and for most people perspectives on spirituality evolve as they go through life, encounter new ideas, and develop new perspectives.
What Spirituality Isn’t
Many people who consider themselves Atheists or Agnostics and others who have painful or traumatic memories connected with religion are justifiably leery of being compelled to join in religious practices and ceremonies. But spirituality shouldn’t be tied to any particular God, moral code, or set of practices. While closely connected to religious belief, spirituality is personal and can remain private. The search for meaning and purpose can be undertaken through prayer, yoga, and tai chi. But it can also be accomplished in ways that don’t carry any religious baggage such as mindfulness practice, keeping a journal, or spending time in nature. You can define your own spiritual beliefs and the path which will keep your soul in tune with them.
Why Is Spirituality Important In Recovery?
One of the greatest benefits of spiritual practice is the connection you’ll rebuild with yourself. One of the first things people lose in addiction is their connection to their own personal sense of morality. Spirituality will allow you to re-discover your sense of right and wrong. Knowing your own beliefs and principles will allow you to develop your own, personalized guide to living a good life, and pursuing your goals in a positive and constructive fashion. One incredibly important pillar of the recovery process is re-learning how to be honest and truthful in your dealings with yourself and others, and spiritual practice is immeasurably helpful in this regard.
Another moral lesson that spiritual exploration often imparts is the importance of respecting yourself and others. Addiction has a corrosive effect on self-esteem and creates a deep sense of shame among the addicted. The overwhelming desire to get more of what you need also forces the addict to take advantage of others, ignore their needs and desires, and behave with monstrous selfishness. If you grew up an in abusive situation, the need to learn respect for yourself and others is even more acute. The good news is that embarking on a spiritual journey is almost guaranteed to build a sense of respect. As cultural anthropologists have noted: “Respect is essential to all the world's religions and is universally seen as a building block to a more human and humane world.”
Spirituality is also a wonderful tool for gaining perspective on your problems. An understanding of the inter-connectedness of people, nature, and the universe can help you realize that seeking understanding and support from those around you isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. Learning to admit the existence of problems and ask for help in dealing with them can make all the difference when you’re attempting to heal yourself and rebuild your life, and the sense of fellowship that can be developed with spiritual practice makes it much easier to share your burdens with the people around you. Spirituality makes it much easier to let go of your pride, admit that you are flawed, and receive support from your peers, friends, and family. Exploring your humanity allows you to see that we all share human weaknesses and that by working together we can turn that weakness into a strength.
Spirituality is also beneficial for giving recovering addicts a sense of purpose and meaning in their new lives. One of the most attractive elements of addiction is that it boils down all of life’s myriad problems into a single, simple dilemma: how can I get more of the substance I need? When you enter recovery, you might feel overwhelmed by all of the new challenges that appear. Getting your finances in order, sorting out relationships that have been strained to the breaking point, re-building your professional life, and dealing with legal issues are a few common issues that spring up. If you don’t find a sense of purpose and meaning as you confront these thorny problems, relapse will seem like a tempting way of escape.
Spiritual exploration will also push you towards building a meaningful life, allowing you to discover your unique talents, abilities, and gifts, and illuminating the ways you can make use of them for the benefit of yourself and others. Most spiritual paths will help seekers realize the importance of using their wisdom, struggles, and experiences to help others. For those in recovery, this is a beautiful way to help yourself and rebuild your shattered self-esteem by helping others. Watching others follow the 12 Steps or another path towards sobriety will reinforce the lessons you’ve learned, and fill your heart with hope, love, and renewed conviction.
Iboga Tree Healing House and Spirituality
At Iboga Tree Healing House, we feel that nurturing spirituality is an integral part of the recovery process. Iboga therapy is a fundamental part of the Bwiti spiritual traditions of Africa, and one of its effects in addition to interrupting addiction is building connections to what Douglas Adams called “Life, the Universe and Everything.” We also attempt to create a sense of spirituality in our clients by offering a wide range of holistic therapies, including yoga, mindfulness and meditation. If you’re looking for a treatment center that fosters spirituality as it helps patients to recover, don’t hesitate to get in touch!
