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Iboga Blog
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31st December 2020 • Sticky Post
Personal Inventory: Taking Stock for the New Year
If you have any experience with recovery, you’re probably already familiar with the concept of a personal inventory. The Big Book used by Alcoholics Anonymous describes Step 4 as “a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” But even if you aren’t in a 12 Step Program, tackling a personal inventory should still be a component of your recovery program.
Everyone makes mistakes in life, and everyone is wronged by others. For most addicts, the severity and number of these transgressions are compounded by a lifestyle that’s almost certain to lead to trauma, stress, and dishonesty. A personal inventory is a great tool for examining the effects of the harm done and moving beyond it into a happy, healthy, and sober life.
Facing The Facts
The life of an addict can be a blur, and many people in recovery are just beginning to confront the reality of their own actions and behaviors. It is common to dwell on negative emotions, past trauma, and family dynamics to justify addiction and to minimize our own roles in poisoning relationships and creating problems in our lives and the lives of those around us. One of the most essential benefits those in recovery receive from a personal inventory is the ability to examine and evaluate their own actions without shifting blame, justifying past misdeeds, and becoming bogged down in negative emotions. Addicts and alcoholics necessarily spend years lying to themselves and those around them about the nature, depth, and symptoms of their condition. As you begin to scrupulously examine the facts of your life, you’ll find that the reality of your life and relationships are significantly different from the stories you’ve been telling yourself and those around you. This is a key reason why personal inventories are so essential to recovery.
Fears, Resentment, and Forgiveness
The Big Book suggests that when embarking on the fact-finding stage of the enterprise, you create four columns to list all relevant information on your resentments, fears, sexual conduct, and harm caused to other people. When reflecting on resentments, we should focus on ways to move past anger and forgive those who have caused hurt. By embracing forgiveness and giving others the benefit of the doubt, you can let go of negative emotions that push you towards destructive actions. The 12 Step model lists resentment as the most serious character flaw for alcoholics and addicts, and learning to view the actions of those around you with understanding and compassion is one of the secrets to living a happy life.
At Iboga Tree Healing House, we have found that Naikan Therapy is a powerful tool for moving past resentment and cultivating a sense of gratitude in life. Naikan therapy focuses on reflecting upon your relationships: what you’re offering to and taking from the people around you every day. It has helped our clients move beyond resentment and into a positive outlook on their relationships with loved ones. We’d recommend this treatment as a complement to your personal inventory.
As you progress into examining the harm that you have caused others, it’s important to get specific. You want to address the exact nature of your own wrongs, and the motivation which caused you to hurt those around you. When you’re tackling this part of the process, it’s important to be very careful not to justify or minimize any of your own actions. You should be reflecting on all of your relationships at this stage in the process, in order to create a full accounting of the damage your addiction has caused, and prepare you to begin healing and repairing that damage.
Fears are important because they can often lead us to damaging behavior. They also lead to secrecy, dishonesty, and feelings of inadequacy. Addressing them head-on is a necessary step towards dealing with your own character flaws and changing yourself for the better. While it’s unlikely that you’ll completely conquer every fear you have, learning to respond positively to the feeling of fear will be a great help on your recovery journey.
Let's get emotional
The process of undergoing a personal inventory will also lead you to explore your own emotional development and the ways in which addiction has stunted it. As you undergo the process and unearth painful memories, you’ll get to know which emotions you’re comfortable with experiencing, and which ones you tend to avoid feeling or expressing. Avoiding unpleasant emotions is one of the primary reasons why people turn to substances, and developing a level of comfort and familiarity with your feelings will help you to maintain sobriety.
One tip that many people familiar with personal inventory tend to offer is to begin by creating a list of people, businesses, ideas, principles, situations, and institutions that have played a meaningful role in your life. As you work through the list, think about your memories, and the thoughts and feelings you associate with each. As you examine your own reactions and the emotions which are triggered, you will quickly realize (based on the intensity of your reactions) what you’ll need to focus on as you create an inventory.
What you'll get out of your personal inventory
A well-run business regularly checks its inventory to see what it has. Is a supermarket dangerously low on milk? Does the pharmacy have medications that are about to expire? You’re looking to reach a similar goal within your own brain. What do you have inside yourself that is holding you back and causing you pain? What are your untapped resources and sources of strength? Are you carrying far too many negative emotions and memories into every situation you find yourself in? Do you have an urgent need for emotional support or self-esteem? What can you draw motivation and will-power from when you’re feeling low?
A personal inventory is an integral part of the recovery process because it leads you to discover the truth about yourself and your life. It can help you finally get rid of the false narratives, negative emotions, and counter-productive decision-making processes that trapped you in addiction. It will let you know what relationships need to be repaired and guide you into making amends with those you’ve hurt. It will help you grow. It will help you learn.
It's just worth doing.
9th October 2019
The 12-Step Model and Smart Recovery: Choosing Your Fellowship
For those dealing with addiction, recovery is a fundamental concept that you must explore, define for yourself, and strive towards for the rest of your life. One incredibly important tool for those attempting to conquer their addictions is peer support. Research has proven that “peer support groups included in addiction treatment show much promise in potentially reducing substance use, improving engagement, reducing HIV/HCV risk behaviors, and improving substance-related outcomes.”
We’re sure you’re familiar with the concept of 12-step groups. Along with other peer-support networks, they allow addicts to share their struggles, triumphs, and hard-won insights into the affliction they’re struggling with. It’s undeniable that the fellowship and community they create have saved countless lives. But alternatives to the 12-step model have been steadily gaining in popularity, and today we’ll take a stab at outlining the differences between SMART Recovery, one of the most proven alternatives, and the traditional 12-step model.
SMART Recovery and The 12 Steps: Divergent Philosophies
The basis for the 12 steps is spiritual, but not tied to any particular religion. As the Hazelden Betty Ford Clinic notes, there are four main stages to the steps: admitting powerlessness, opening up to a source of power outside of oneself, taking inventory, and maintaining/strengthening spirituality. The definition of spirituality is interpreted very broadly, and the group’s popular slogan “take what works and leave the rest” can allow newcomers and skeptical members to benefit from the aspects of the program that help them, and ignore the elements that they find unreasonable or forbidding.
SMART Recovery is based on a four-point program: enhance and maintain motivation to abstain, cope with urges, manage thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and balance momentary and enduring satisfactions. Its basis is built on scientific, rather than spiritual, foundations, utilizing the principles of Dr. Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. Dr. Ellis is widely considered one of the originators of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and one of the most influential psychologists in history.
Perhaps the most fundamental difference between the two approaches is where the locus of control is placed. 12-Step programs emphasize the powerlessness of the individual in the face of addiction and call on those in recovery to find strength and motivation from an external, spiritual power. SMART Recovery, on the other hand, emphasizes internal control and encourages the individual to take control of their own thoughts and behaviors by turning negative thoughts and behaviors into positive ones. Also, while the 12-Step model is believed by its adherents to be universally applicable to all addicts, SMART Recovery allows much more flexibility, encouraging participants to create their own approach, one that suits their psychological profile, gender, age, emotional needs and duration and severity of their addiction.
The 12-Step Model and SMART Recovery: Differences in Practice
While AA and NA use the 12 Steps as a guide to one’s progression through the stages of recovery, SMART Recovery identifies six stages of change: pre-contemplation (subconsciously thinking of recovery), contemplation, determination/preparation, action, maintenance, and graduation. Graduation is a major difference between the two programs. SMART Recovery views addiction as a physical behavior, which ends when the addict stops using the substance they’re dependent on. Individuals can progress from “in recovery” to “recovered,” in contrast to the 12 Steps, where participants are encouraged to view themselves as alcoholics or addicts for the rest of their lives. Advocates of SMART Recovery feel that 12 Step programs perpetuate the stigma of addiction with the negative implication that addicts can never break free, while those in AA/NA would counter with stories of addicts who relapse after years or decades of sober living (people who had “too many years and not enough days”).
Another massive difference in practice is the idea of “cross-talk.” 12-step meetings are based on the idea of “sharing.” A participant will address the group with stories, struggles, or advice, but when sharing you aren’t allowed to discuss what another participant shared. In SMART Recovery meetings, cross-talk is allowed and even encouraged. Because many of the meetings are facilitated by professional therapists or counselors (unlike AA/NA meetings which are always facilitated by peers) there is often a qualified professional to keep things focused and productive.
One major advantage of 12-Step programs is the sponsor system. A sponsor is an experienced group member who develops a close relationship with a newcomer and guides them through the steps, embodying the 12th step of recovery: “Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” A sponsor should ideally take your phone calls when you need support, give advice on the difficult aspects of recovery, and develop an older sibling type of relationship with you. They can be life-savers as you grapple with the challenges of sober living, and are, in our opinion, one of the most valuable tools available to those in recovery.
A major advantage of SMART Recovery is its willingness to evolve as science improves our understanding of addiction. It’s currently based on 3 current scientific methodologies: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Motivational Enhancement Therapy, and Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. 12-step programs, on the other hand, are based on a text that debuted in 1939 and has remained virtually unchanged since then. One can safely assume that SMART Recovery is, therefore, better equipped to take advantage of neurological, pharmacological, and psychological research that will help us determine best practices for treating addiction, both now and in the future.
The 12-Step Model and Smart Recovery: Making Your Choice
Every brain is different, every addiction is different, and every recovery will be different. At Iboga Tree Healing House we would recommend that those in recovery explore every option that may help them build a healthy, balanced, sober life. We are proud of our weekly online meet-ups for individuals who have recovered with the help of Iboga, but we would recommend that you supplement them with an in-person gathering at least once a week as you move towards healing. See which meeting near you meets your needs, and find the people who can give you the support and friendship that will be a crucial support in your recovery. We bow before the wisdom of the precept “take what works and leave the rest.”
