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Iboga Blog
wellness
30th November 2020
Making Amends: A Pathway To Healing
One fundamental aspect of addiction is the way it forces addicts to violate their principles, beliefs, and values. In every life, we are bound to cause harm to others, regardless of intent, and often without our knowledge. But for the addicted, these transgressions can sink to truly appalling depths. One of the most essential parts of recovery is coming to terms with the harm we have caused to the people close to us, and whenever possible, doing everything we can to relieve the pain we have dished out. Let’s take a closer look at the process of making amends.
What is " Making Amends"?
define making amends
A reductive definition would be “apologize sincerely to those you’ve hurt.” But experts at the Betty Ford Clinic have identified one of the key differences between apologies and amends. They rightly point out that amends are actions, whereas apologies are often just words. One of the keys to recovering from addiction is aligning your intentions and your actions. In the case of making amends, this can be defined as the difference between saying you’re sorry for having stolen from someone and creating a re-payment plan. By uniting your actions with your words, you can convince others that you’re committed to repairing wrongs and relationships. Compare this to the thousands of useless apologies you probably offered to those around you when you were using! Amends are so important because they are an actual, concrete manifestation of the changes that occurred within you when you moved from addiction into recovery.
Making Amends and The 12 Steps
If you’re familiar with the 12-Step model of recovery, you’ve probably already been thinking about Steps 8 and 9 as you read the last two paragraphs. For the uninitiated:
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
These two steps are invaluable parts of the foundation to sober living. We need to deal with our pasts to move into a brighter future. We would recommend following through with these two steps even if you’re committed to a peer support program other than the AA/NA model.
Alternative Ways To Make Amends
While SMART Recovery and Practical Recovery don’t have a specific policy for making amends, they realize that the process is valuable for many in recovery, and they recommend acknowledging your role, apologizing, and making things right if it’s possible to do so.
You may have read our recent blog post on Naikan Therapy - a recent addition to the Iboga Tree Healing House recovery toolbox. In Naikan therapy, realization is the first step toward making amends. Naikan helps to develop a realization about one’s wrongs and one’s part in those wrongs. Naikan teaches that one needs realization in the beginning - which is the most complex part of the amends process.
Naikan therapy helps one reach realization, and how (even if) amends are actually made is a personal choice. Some people may pay back by helping others, cleaning the soul, serving elderly people, parents, etc. Some people do not make direct or indirect amends at all.
In the Naikan model, the psychotherapist can encourage amends to be made, but the amends process is by no means an essential part of one’s recovery.
For those seeking to make amends for past wrongs, let’s explore the process of making amends in a little more depth.
Direct Amends
Making Amends
The phrase essentially means that you try to establish face-to-face communication with the person you’ve wronged. If they’re unwilling to meet with you, or time and distance will not allow for a meeting, we recommend trying to communicate as directly as possible, via Facetime, phone, email, or letter. You should always be open by acknowledging the pain and hurt you have caused, and avoid finding fault or shifting blame. Demonstrate through your words and actions how you have changed. Offer them whatever you can to repair the damage you’ve done, and try to find ways to enable them to heal.
Injuring Others: How Not To Do It
If you think that the process of making amends would cause needless harm, stress, mental anguish, or any other type of pain to another person, there’s no need to burden them in order to unburden yourself. As Step 9 dictates, “except when to do so would injure them.” Bear in mind that your goal in this process should be helping them to deal with the wrongs you’ve inflicted, not seeking closure for yourself. If you have painful information they’re unaware of and have no need to receive, ask yourself if they would actually benefit from receiving it. If you suspect that the answer might be “no”, try to do something else to atone for your actions, like volunteering your time with the needy, making a donation to a worthy cause, or taking steps to help out someone else in your life. You can atone for your actions without making them suffer.
What if Someone Doesn't Want to Meet Me?
There might be someone in your life to whom you are desperate to make amends to who wants nothing to do with you. If someone who you’ve hurt doesn’t want to accept your apologies and amends, it’s best to accept that fact and find some other way to reach closure for yourself. Intentionally taking positive and benevolent action in another part of your life can allow you to move forward and accept their decision to wash their hands of you. We never recommend forcing the issue and putting someone you’ve already harmed in an uncomfortable situation.
Avoiding Dangerous Situations
If someone who you’ve harmed is still actively addicted and using substances regularly, you should be very careful about putting your fragile sobriety at risk. You can try to nudge them towards treatment or ensure that you meet them in a safe place without any triggers or stressors that could fuel a relapse. While making amends is very important, as the Betty Ford Clinic notes, “our primary responsibility is to safeguard our own health and recovery from substance abuse.”
Don't Do It Alone
It’s important to consult with mentors, counselors, peers, sponsors, and relevant guides such as AA’s Big Book. Making amends is a long and arduous process that can cause fresh stresses and problems. Those who have experience with it are a resource that can help you avoid pitfalls along the way and ensure that you emerge happier, healthier, and stronger. They can reassure you that you are doing the right thing, even if the people that you have wronged respond to your efforts to heal with hostility, dismissiveness, or contempt. We’re always stronger together!
Why Make Amends?
Making amends is so necessary because it will deepen your understanding of the pain and suffering that addiction has caused to those around you. It can offer the opportunity to rebuild broken connections with your family and loved ones. But it also has substantial benefits for your own mental health. As addictions expert and Professor of Family Medicine Chris Ebberwein states “making amends means taking ownership for causing hurt, and then doing something to correct or heal it. Making amends puts to rest the temptation to be stuck in self-blame or to blame others. It allows the recovering person to move ahead toward correcting mistakes that were made and healing old hurts.” At Iboga Tree Healing House we’ve seen firsthand the way attempting to right past wrongs can heal the scars of addiction and build self-esteem and happiness.
15th July 2020 • Sticky Post
Plant Teachers: 5 Ways Iboga Is Healing Humanity
Iboga is a remarkable substance derived from the roots of a West African shrub. It’s a psychoactive substance that is sacred to followers of the Bwiti spiritual tradition in Gabon and Cameroon, who use iboga in ceremonies for healing, rites of passage, and initiation rituals. It is believed to strengthen family and community structures, resolve pathological problems, and promote radical spiritual growth. But the use of iboga has spread around the world, especially after American Howard Lotsof discovered its utility in curtailing the withdrawal symptoms and cravings he suffered as he attempted to end his addiction to heroin. Iboga has had a fascinating history, but at present, it is proving extremely helpful in curing a wide variety of ailments. Today we’ll be taking a look at how this plant medicine is healing humanity’s ills.
1) Healing Addictions
Healing Addictions
This is the best known of iboga’s many uses. The substance interacts with the central nervous system in ways that eliminate many of the debilitating mental and physical side-effects of withdrawal. Studies have proven that iboga is capable of re-setting the brain’s dopamine receptors to a “pre-addicted state”, freeing the addict from intense cravings and acting as an “addiction interrupter.” Iboga also increases neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to develop and use new neural pathways, which allows those in recovery to develop healthy new habits, patterns of thought, and ways of life.
A Mexican study found that after a single dose of Iboga, two-thirds of the heroin addicts treated went a month without relapsing, and 4 of the study’s 30 participants were still sober one year later. Another study in Brazil experimented with giving iboga treatment and psychotherapy to 75 individuals addicted to cocaine, crack, alcohol, and cannabis. The researchers found that the “results suggest that the use of iboga supervised by a physician and accompanied by psychotherapy can facilitate prolonged periods of abstinence, without the occurrence of fatalities or complications.”
2) Healing PTSD
Healing PTSD
When taken in large doses, iboga can induce powerful and vivid visions, creating an oneirogenic state in the user. The types of visions experienced with iboga are often deeply personal, and illuminating, in that they often take a patient back through formative, emotional, and painful moments in their past. For those suffering from PTSD, this can be extremely powerful, as iboga allows the patient to confront the trauma and pain behind the condition. As one researcher puts it, “iboga has a profound ability to guide people through a journey of self-reconciliation.” Viewing a traumatic event as an observer rather than a participant has helped many PTSD sufferers to gain closure, learn to forgive themselves and others, and move on with their lives.
The benefits of increased neuroplasticity are also very helpful for PTSD sufferers. Iboga allows the user to recognize and break negative, self-destructive, and self-reinforcing patterns of thought and behavior that had previously seemed intractable. Dr. C.M. Anderson of Harvard Medical School feels that the “brain state [induced by iboga] may facilitate the consolidation of traumatic memories, the reversal of abnormal hemispheric functions, and the dissolution of habitual motor patterns.”
3) Healing Depression
Healing Depression
Because of its ability to create a fresh perspective on the problems and frustrations of life, and to let the user step outside of themselves, iboga has helped many people suffering from depression. To look at life’s difficulties with fresh eyes and experience a sense of connection with the universe and the people around you is a profoundly beneficial experience for those feeling isolated and trapped in depression. Many depressed people describe their experiences with oneirogenics as an escape from solitary confinement in a mental prison.
Depression is usually defined primarily as a state of disconnection, so the visceral sense of connection to their communities and environments which ibogaine can induce is a powerful counter to depressive disorders. Researchers have hypothesized that iboga’s interactions with the neurotransmitters governing the production and release of dopamine and other neural systems can also be a boon to those struggling with depression.
4) Healing Eating Disorders
Healing Eating Disorders
The latest thinking on eating disorders posits that they fall into the realm of "addiction", with roots in past trauma, which drive the afflicted to gain pleasure and release from pain through their emotional relationships with food. The neural processes of addiction and eating disorders are similar in nature, with pathways, transmitters, and receptors adapting to trap the sufferer in a never-ending pattern of destructive behavior.
Iboga therapy has the benefit of boosting levels of GDNF, a protein that is produced by the brain in early childhood. GDNF aids the production of new neurons and allows for higher levels of neuroplasticity, which is immeasurably helpful with creating and sustaining new habits and patterns of decision making and behavior. This can make a world of difference as anorexics, bulimics, and compulsive eaters strive to fundamentally alter their toxic relationships with food.
5) Healing Anxiety
Anxiety disorders are understood as a problem in your brain’s wiring which causes extreme sensations of fear, panic, and uneasiness in everyday situations. Researchers speculate that they can be caused by genetics, environment, stress, or any combination thereof. But the mental symptoms can also have physical manifestations, like dizziness, difficulty breathing, and heart palpitations. Many sufferers are terrified of leaving their houses or participating in normal social situations. Iboga’s ability to reset abnormalities in brain function has helped many suffering from anxiety disorders, and while there have yet to be many formal studies of the treatment, anecdotal evidence strongly suggests that iboga can help.
A Plant Teacher
Iboga can awaken spirituality and build communities, but it can also help us in a number of other ways. Its profound, life-altering effects on the brain can bring healing to millions looking to ease their suffering. As clinical trials of 18-MC (a non-toxic iboga analog which would not have the psychoactive effects of traditional iboga) proceed, we might be getting closer to unleashing the healing potential of this amazing plant! Let Iboga Tree healing House show you how today!
7th April 2020 • Sticky Post
Codependency, and how it impacts your life
“A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behaviour affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behaviour.” -Melody Beattie, author of ‘Codependent No More.’
Defining Co-dependency
Most psychologists view codependency as a product of two dysfunctional personalities coming together to an extent where boundaries between the personalities cease to exist. Psychologists call this process “enmeshment.” We all know deeply unhappy couples who have stayed together in spite of the misery they create. And while there are many reasons for couples to stick together in dire situations (children, finances, inertia, loyalty, etc.), the main reason people stay in these relationships is the belief of one partner (or sometimes both) that they deserve to be mistreated.
Traditionally, codependent relationships have been defined by control. Studies from the late 1980s and early 1990s concluded that codependent individuals based their lives, self-esteem and sense of well-being on the behaviour of an unhealthy family member. They concluded that a pattern was established with the functional partner nurturing the afflicted partner, and creating a pleasurable and self-reinforcing cycle which rewarded misbehaviour. As the psychologist Reevah Simon has noted, “wherever there is ongoing conflict, there is underlying agreement.” In other words, the functional partner consents to the pattern of codependency, and takes a sense of pleasure, satisfaction, or purpose from it.
Codependency in the Family
The classic example of a codependent relationship is the enabling wife of an alcoholic, but over time the definition has expanded to include partners of individuals with any addiction or chemical dependency, partners of some individuals afflicted by chronic physical or mental illnesses, and any member of a dysfunctional family with symptoms of the disorder.
If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you are at a far greater risk of developing codependent relationships. According to Mental Health America, members of dysfunctional families are used to denying the existence of problems. They don’t talk about them or confront them, so family members learn at a young age to repress difficult emotions and deny their own needs: “They develop behaviours that help them deny, ignore, or avoid difficult emotions. They detach themselves. They don’t talk. They don’t touch. They don’t confront. They don’t feel. They don’t trust. The identity and emotional development of the members of a dysfunctional family are often inhibited.”
Members of dysfunctional families are programmed from an early age to shift their energy and focus from themselves to the family member who is ill or addicted. They place the needs of the afflicted family member above their own in order to keep the family unit intact. As a result they often lose their sense of self. They develop a pattern of putting the well-being of a loved one ahead of their own, and become disconnected from their own needs and desires, and this pattern is primed to repeat itself in adult life.
Are You in A Co-dependent Relationship?
People suffering from codependency generally have low self-esteem and look for things outside of themselves for validation and fulfillment. They have difficulty “being themselves” and are prone to addictive or compulsive behavioural disorders. They generally have good intentions and try to take on the role of caregiver in many of their relationships, but often become self-defeating and compulsive in the role, enabling or shrugging off unacceptable behaviour.
This creates a cycle where the person needing care becomes ever-more dependent on their caregiver, while avoiding the consequences of their destructive behaviour. Meanwhile, the caregiver becomes habituated to the sense of satisfaction and fulfillment they derive from being needed. Eventually, the caretaking becomes a compulsion, and the caretaker develops a sense of martyrdom and victimhood, but is unable to break away from the mutually destructive relationship. This leads to feelings of helplessness and depression.
A Google search will yield a plethora of questionnaires designed to identify signs of the disorder, but please note that only a qualified professional is capable of making a diagnosis. The lists frequently include questions asking about your ability to communicate negative emotions, your tolerance towards living with toxic relationships, your self-esteem, and your ability to ask for, and deny requests for help. If you’re worried that you might be trapped in a cycle of co-dependence, we’d recommend trying this online questionnaire, and if the results indicate that you may be afflicted, seek out a mental health professional immediately.
Treating Codependency
If you’re convinced you suffer from this disorder, we’d recommend starting with a diagnosis, counseling, and peer-support fellowships. Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are both fantastic resources and support systems which will let you access the support and wisdom of those who have overcome codependence. SMART Recovery takes an approach to addiction based on the principles of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and their support program for family members emphasizes positive and honest communication for guiding addicted partners and family members toward healthier lives, and avoiding the pitfalls of codependence. Traditional therapy and CBT have also helped many codependent partners and family members to take control of their own lives and well-being.
Non-traditional cures can also be used to combat codependency. Mindfulness practice is a great way to connect with yourself and explore your own thoughts, needs, and desires. Yoga can also help center you and connect body, mind, and soul in a way that will help you actualize your own will to take control of your life. And treatment with psychedelics and ibogaine have also proved effective in helping patients confront traumatic aspects of their pasts, and deal with painful memories and emotions. Addiction can ruin the lives of addicts and their loved ones. Don’t let it ruin yours.
7th May 2019
3 benefits of iboga no-one has told you about
Iboga has been proven to help addicts treat the symptoms of their disease, and substantially aid in their recovery. This impressive natural remedy helps to ease withdrawal symptoms and minimize cravings for a variety of addictive substances while restoring receptors in the brain to pre-addiction levels. But with all the promise iboga has shown in treating depression, anxiety, and a host of other ailments, it’s worth exploring Iboga’s other health benefits as well.
Attaining an Ego-Free State
In his insightful book, Ibogaine Explained, Peter Frank details many of the psychological benefits that iboga can confer. Iboga has the effect of temporarily “shattering the ego”, allowing individuals to let go of their petty problems and gain insight on the interconnectedness of the world around them. Frank concludes that these periods of “egolessness” can offer powerful insights into the personal issues that one is facing. As one woman has said of her Iboga treatment, “I wouldn’t recommend it to somebody who is trying to have fun. If you want your body to explode into 1,000 pieces and rebuild itself into something beautiful, then yeah—but don’t expect it to be pleasant.”
This state has been proven to be deeply beneficial to those suffering from depression and anxiety. Researchers have found that many sufferers depict their depression “foremost as a state of disconnection,” whether from other people, their earlier selves, their senses and feelings, their core beliefs and spiritual values, or nature. Several referred to living in “a mental prison,” others to being “stuck” in endless circles of rumination they likened to mental gridlock.”
The testimonials of participants in studies on treating depression with iboga generally report that they feel free from negative cycles of thought and more connected to life around them. Here are a few quotes from a study conducted by the psychologist Rosalind Watts who oversaw the project for the UK’s NHS:
“It was like a holiday away from the prison of my brain. I felt free, carefree, reenergized.”
“I had an experience of tenderness toward myself.”
“At its most basic, I feel like I used to before the depression.”
Letting Go
Iboga’s effects often cause the user to experience past memories in vivid detail, which users describe as akin to being transported into the past. This experience is generally followed by a reflective period, where the user can gain intellectual insight into the causes and effects of trauma. While painful, this process has helped many people suffering from PTSD, as it enabled them to come to terms with the wounds and scars at the root of their depression, addiction, and other problematic areas of their lives.
Ian Roullier, a participant in the NHS study mentioned earlier, was a victim of childhood abuse at the hands of his father, and suffered from depression throughout his adult life. During his experience with iboga, he gained the courage to confront his past. “Normally, when Dad comes up in my head, I just push the thought away. But this time I went the other way… this time I looked him in the eye. That was a really big thing for me, to literally face the demon.”
The experience allowed Roullier to see “that every emotion is as valid as any other… it was okay to have negative thoughts. That’s life. For me, trying to resist emotions just amplified them. Once I was in this state, it was beautiful—a feeling of deep contentment. I had this overwhelming feeling—it wasn’t even a thought—that everything and everyone needs to be approached with love, including myself.”
There are a host of benefits that come from confronting and reflecting on difficult memories while using Iboga. Many people have found that in addition to the mental health benefits, they’ve made progress in battling eating disorders and other problematic relationships with food, addiction to shopping and sex, and other forms of self-destructive behaviour.
Autoimmune Healing
There is anecdotal evidence of Iboga being quite helpful in the treatment of fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis, and Parkinson’s disease. All three of these diseases attack the central nervous system, and Iboga’s interactions with cells and receptors in the brain have been theorized to trigger the body to heal itself. In the words of the Global Ibogaine Therapy Alliance: “the theoretical case is based on the fact that both ibogaine and its metabolite noribogaine have been shown to lead to an increase in levels of glial cell line-derived neurotrophic factor (GDNF) in the brain. It has also been shown to have neuroprotective qualities promoting the survival of both dopaminergic and motor neurons.”
While there isn’t enough clinical research at this point to state with authority that Iboga should be used to treat these diseases, studies on animals have shown that directly administering GDNF significantly lessened the symptoms of those suffering from Parkinson’s. This has led researchers at Columbia University to begin a study on the efficacy of Iboga in treating animals afflicted with Parkinson’s, a study which we hope will confirm the drug’s utility in treating degenerative and autoimmune diseases.
Beyond Addiction
As you can see, Iboga has the potential to offer substantial health benefits to people suffering from a wide variety of ailments. As society becomes more open-minded about the potential of iboga to treat physical and mental illnesses, we are confident that scientific and clinical studies will confirm Ibogaine’s utility as a medical tool. If you’re interested in using Iboga for healing or personal growth, feel free to contact Iboga Tree Healing House for the information you need!
